“I Want to Look Like Her”

I saw this statement on Pinterest today under a picture of a woman with a very impressive physique.

Immediately after reading the statement, “I want to look like her”, I had the urge to reach out to the woman who made such a comment and sit her down for a talk.
Instead, I am writing my post today about what I would have tried to get through to her.

I know the comment had nothing to do with me. I was simply browsing and just came across it on my own. However, the comment still bothered me in a way. The reason the comment slightly bothered me is because I ache for those who are not happy with the body they have been blessed with.
I realize she did not flat out say “I hate my body and I want hers”, but why have another person you want to look like?

Of course I have inspirations…

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Jamie Eason

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Erin Stern

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Aubrie Richeson

and so many more… heck, all of you inspire me each and every day!

Tara and Kasey have helped me through some of my fitness struggles such as my gaining phase and not going cardio since they have been in the same position before.

Juliet has helped me in so many ways, too. I now have good form for squats thanks to her suggestion on using a bench to squat down onto before squatting heavy and fearing going too low.

April has helped me not fear increasing my calories to higher amounts than before.

Alexandra has helped me implement my bedtime snack earlier this fall. She was supportive and emailed me through it all!

So many of you inspire me, even if your name wasn’t mentioned, you still inspire me. I read your blogs and your words simply inspire me. Even those of you without blogs inspire me; when I receive your comments, replies, or emails hearing how I have inspired you inspires me!

But, back to the topic of the day, I believe that it is perfectly fine to have people to look at as an inspiration, like the beautiful women I pictured and spoke about above, however if you idolize a person to the point that you want to actually look exactly like them is truly unrealistic. If an individual begins to work toward looking like someone they are pretty much setting themselves up for failure because no body is the same.

Yes, I have definitely looked at magazines before and wished I had so and so’s chiselled abs or perfectly sculpted shoulders, but then I remind myself that I am Meg and need to be happy and appreciate what I have.

Much like living in the present moment, appreciating what you have instead of longing for something different is very important.
The happier you are with what you were blessed with leads to a happier and less stressful life.

We have two options.

Every day we can wake up, look in the mirror, shrug, and then turn to that Oxygen magazine and wish we were the monthly cover girl model.
Or we could wake up, look in the mirror and smile, appreciate what we have, be happy that we are alive and breathing and not wish we were any different.

I really loved this quote:

“The reason why people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have gotten.”

I can really relate to this quote because I usually forget how my life was a few years ago. When I forget about how far I have come over the years, I become anxious and begin thinking where I want to be.

“I want to get my shoulders bigger”

“My legs are still quite small”

“I am still not comfortable with all foods yet”

The above are examples of thoughts I get quite often; however, after I found the quote I shared above I began to realize how far I actually came.

I looked at pictures from last year. Did I have the shoulders last January that I do now?

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Definitely not. I have come so far in my training and have gained a lot of muscle over the past year.

My legs are also more muscular, too! It was only this fall when I was able to deadlift 10 lbs. heavier than my own bodyweight and this summer I had never even performed a deadlift before!

As far as food goes, I have come far, too – very far.

I now have bedtime snacks which I was not able to do this summer.

I recently tried cocoa; a food that I had been denying myself (rather, ED had been restricting from my life.)

I have come very far over the past year and I need to appreciate what I have done, not what I want to do.

I wish I could have told the woman on Pinterest that if she starts appreciating what she has instead of aspiring to look like someone else she would be a much happier person (however, she might be very happy already – who knows!)

My point after all of this is is to look where you are now, not where you want to be.

Really look at the life you have. Look for the positive aspects in it. I know life isn’t perfect, but there is a positive light in every situation. Trust me, there is.

Be happy with who you are and where you are. Try to appreciate yourself rather than wishing you were someone else,

We are each our own person. If I had Jamie Eason’s arms, Erin Stern’s legs, and Aubrie Richeson’s stomach I would have quite the physique; however, I wouldn’t be Meg.

Maybe I was never meant to have huge legs like Erin, but I can work hard like I am and develop the muscular legs that I am able to have.

Genetics play a huge role. Look each of the three pictures I posted above. None of the women look the same; however, I classify all of them to be an inspiration of mine, but I do not want to look like them. I want to look like me, Meg, just has God intended Smile

Would have the woman’s comment on Pinterest caught your eye? What would have your reaction been?
Reflect on where you were a year ago compared to now. What is one big change you have made?
Who are some of your greatest inspirations?

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About Meg (A Dash of Meg)

Hello, my name is Meg. I am a 20-year-old passionate Foods & Nutrition student on my way to becoming a Registered Dietitian who loves food, cooking, fitness, seafood, and a nice cup of tea.

Posted on January 3, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 43 Comments.

  1. Awe Meg this post made me smile and almost tear up at the same time. I always find myself wishing I looked like other girls probably on a daily basis and it’s so hard not to do so when girls have so many insecurities to begin with. But you are totally right – we have to be realistic and realize that NO ONE is perfect (even those air brushed girls in magazines). It’s all about loving the body you were blessed with and totally rockin it on a daily basis 🙂

  2. Love this!! Thanks for the shout out too heehee 😉 You’re the best and I’m so glad to know you through this blog world. I know with God’s help, you’re gonna reach your full potential and look like you’ve always dreamed! All of your hard work is really paying off! 🙂
    Love ya tons girl! ❤

  3. I definitely feel more toned this year than I did last. I just started doing Bodyrock from bodyrock.tv and it’s already toning me up.

    It’s funny, because I see super thin celebrities and want to be like then, but I think deep down inside, I really just want to feel healthy and have my body reflect that health and happiness. Here are some of the healthy bodies I admire…

    Gina Carano – http://www.figurerx.com/Photos/Forums/GinaCaranoMontage.jpg
    Jessica Biel – http://www.skinnyland.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/jessica_biel.jpg
    Ashley Greene – http://images.starpulse.com/news/bloggers/10/blog_images/ashley-greene-47.jpg

    It’s funny because I think all of these ladies have body types similar to mine–broad shoulders, small waist, strong legs–so these bodies are also attainable for me. 🙂

  4. I am so happy you brought up the Pinterest thing. I like browsing through all the “Fitness” boards out there, but a lot of people will post pictures of very very thin models and say something like, “I want a gap between my thighs” or “This girl is so perfect” and I want to SCREAM AT THEM. First of all, having a gap between your legs, or a certain body shape, or frame size has NOTHING to do with diet and exercise. Some people’s legs are close together, some people’s aren’t. Who gives a hoot?

    I agree– be inspired, but don’t try to be someone else. Be you!

  5. I LOVE this post girl! I agree 100%. I’ve recently realized I need to stop saying in my head “ugh, I want to look like that” and use it as an inspiration to be productive, get off my butt, and do something. My greatest inspirations are definitely fellow bloggers! Some inspire me too cook, some inspire me to eat healthy, and some to exercise (like you!) I see/hear a lot of negative comments women make towards their bodies, especially now that the Holidays just pass but I chose to ignore it and not let it effect ME. Because I know what’s right for me and it’s not “I just ate so much! I’m not eating tomorrow.” This post definitely just got me pumped up to do a workout tomorrow when I get home! I’ve been out of town for the past 2 weeks and haven’t worked out at all, let alone eat vegetables everyday but I’m not fretting about it. Just gives me more motivation 🙂

  6. you look amazing! keep up the good work. you and the numerous blogs I read inspire me to work hard.

  7. Aww this is such an awesome post, Meg! You have hit the nail on the head. There is a massive difference between feeling inspired by someone, and wanting to look exactly like them! I have *always* had big legs and hated it! During high school I used to get lots of positive feedback from the boys (haha!) but all I wanted was skinny legs and that gap between the thighs!

    As I got older I embraced my legs and now I’m so proud of them! Sure, they aren’t as defined as Erin Stern’s but they are all mine 😀 Instead of focusing on the things I want to change, I focus on the parts of my body that I love and am proud of. You have made heaps of progress in such a short time, both physically and mentally, and you should feel very proud of that!

  8. runningperspective

    I LOVE THISSSSSSSS
    and damnnn girll YOU LOOK SO FREAKING HOTT seriously like athlete x 1000 I LOVE IT<3333333333

    and i love your quote how we seriously tend to give up because we look at how much more we have to go rather than how far we have come…i needed this right now!!<333thank you so much!!

  9. I see things like that on pinterest all the time!! It bothers me, but I kind of know how that is….I see pictures of the runners that inspire me, and think “I can’t wait until I’m training at her level and can look like that!” Which now I think about it is ridiculous because some of those women are quite muscular for runners (Kara Goucher) while some are pretty thin (Shalane Flanagan)…every woman’s body responds differently to the same training! And while it’s great to have role models, its SO important to appreciate what YOUR body can do for you! I was upset the other day with my injury and was talking to my mom, saying things like “I hate my body, it sucks, it won’t cooperate with me” etc etc and she said “no, you should appreciate it! God gave it to you, and he didn’t make any mistakes. Maybe you haven’t treated it the best in the past [with my ED and exercise obsession], but you’ve come SO far in learning how to be good to it – so appreciate that you’ve turned it around and made it strong and healthy again” So true. Maybe this time last year I was running more than ever, but I was also eating less than ever and in general treating myself like crap. Now I can hardly believe I used to do that to myself! And without getting to where I am now – which is a great place despite being hurt – I can’t ever get where I ultimately want to go!

  10. Love this post! I posted a “pin” I saw yesterday because I loved the quote – “I don’t workout because I hate my body, I work out because I love it.”

  11. Such a beautiful post! I am glad I found your blog 😉

  12. Your blog is always an inspiration! 🙂 Your words go beyond healthy living and really make you think, I probably wouldn’t have noticed her comment but I sure would now. You couldn’t be more right, we should love our bodies because they are OURS!!! Thanks for the reminder! 🙂

  13. As someone who has struggled with liking their own body, hearing other people say “I wish I had a body like yours” (and I have gotten that comment when I was heavier, lighter, and right where I am), makes me realize something…everyone wants to be different and no one notices your little flaws. I can name 120910 reasons why someone wouldn’t want my body, but taking the time to focus on a few why they might is hard. That’s not how it should be!

    I’m getting much better. I can look in the mirror and see that the weight I’ve put on is both muscle and fat in the right places. Who knew I had a butt that is kind of cute all along? Truth be told, I could only appreciate it when I started to exercise for the sake of exercising or as training. I am not sure if I could have gotten here if I had been specifically trying to build a certain physique. I’m just doing what I love..running, biking, doing yoga, teaching fitness, and doing some circuits. In the past I’ve weight trained on purpose or ran to burn calories…now I find friends, focus on going to classes, etc. It’s made a world of difference for me!

    You inspire me girl. Keep it up. Your shoulders are awesome. 😀

  14. This is beautiful! I feel compelled to add something here, but you articulated the message perfectly and there isn’t anything to add. Girl, you have SO much to be proud of and it brings tears to my eyes to see where you’ve been and how far you’ve come. You’re such an inspiration!

  15. There really are no words to accurately describe how perfect this post is. I can relate 100%. You are such an inspiration, girl. The changes you’ve made, mentally and physically, are unbelievable. Keep it up. ❤

  16. great post dear! erin stern is SUCH an inspiration…!! I think the biggest inspiration is that she WORKS for her physique.. actually all those girls do. and thats the greatest msg that maybe that girl on pinterest missed ( or not – who can tell from just one line)…its hard work and dedication that got them to where they are and for me THAT is the inspiration.. because i’ll never in a million years look like erin.. i’m too short! but i can work hard and look like the best version of ME! great shoulders btw!!!

  17. i think it’s fabulous to have aesthetic goals whilst living in the present!

    i personally only want to look like myself . . . but people have always told me that i resemble marisa tomei. my bulimic head didn’t agree but saw possibility in it. so for a long time, i’d work to look like her.

    now i just want to look like me. or gwendolyn. haha but i don’t think it’s possible to look like the cutest smooshie mouthed puggle on earth. 😉 x

  18. Wahooo ! This post is one of my favorite ever ! So true and genuine !

    Appreciate what you have instead of longing for something else =)

    I’m working on it, but now with this state of mind, my life is so much better and easier =)
    (I’m tall and i used to wish to be smaller, but i cant change it, it’s my body 😉 . I have big boobs but i can’t change it, it’s my body … )

    Btw congrats for your shoulders, you look great !!

  19. I’ve spent a lot of time this past year doing things for ME – not worrying about someone else’s opinion, or if I look “stupid” or whatever.

  20. Meg, this is spot on. So many people a1 training to look like someone else, and end up losing a part of themselves in the process. I think you did a good job of distinguishing between being inspired by another persons physique and aspiring to have their physique. It’s a sublte difference that we glaze over, but the two mentalities have drastic differnces in terms of mental health. Well done.

    Also, sweet gun show, looks like the heavy lifting is paying off!

  21. Great post girl! When I was younger I used to want to have the bodies of all the models in the fashion magazines I used to be obsessed with reading… but I don’t know what I was thinking! 😛 I think I learned my lesson after I got a body like those models and realized that the health problems that come along with that body is SO not worth it. Ever since then, I’ve appreciated my own body so much more. I think it’s sad that it’s more common for women to be unhappy with their bodies than it is to be happy with them. This is the body that we were born with – yes we can lose some weight, yes we can tone it up, but ultimately it is unique and we can’t change it to look exactly like someone else’s. And why should we want to?

  22. survivingcandyland

    Such an amazing post. I seriously love you. I see those pictures on pinterest all the time and I’m just like gaaaah the people you want to look like are these anorexic little sticks. At least your motivational people are all healthy, fit, and toned. That is the way to be. I really just want to be my fab self, which is all I can be and that’s the best.

  23. love this POST!! So glad I can help inspire you babe :] I’m always here!! I’ve really been focusing on not worrying about cardio so much and just focusing on weights, full body exercises, eating clean, and YOGA! I’m loving this change and no, I haven’t blown up like a whale! ;] it’s nice not to “have” to do cardio just because you feel like you “have” to! You should do it to enjoy it and for cardiovascular gains!!

    ❤ ❤ ❤

  24. I’ve compared my body so so many times and you are right–it isn’t worth it! I want to be me, not somebody else. It can be so hard not to want to look like another person, especially one that seems to have the ‘perfect’ body but it definitely makes you happier once you stop comparing!

  25. Motivation comes from within- external factors can contribute to and enhance it, but I think that motivation is self driven… It sounds like you have made so many positive changes- keep it up!

  26. ilovefetacheese

    🙂 so proud of you girl

  27. i loved every single part of this post. you have come so far and i love it. i see a lot of people on pinterest, heck, in real life, say “i wish i had her body.” it seriously makes me cringe. i try to talk to them and tell them that their body is just as good, but they just look at me like i’m preaching at them haha

  28. I admire certain people not cause of how they look , but different things (confidence, etc). In terms of food…I admire certain bloggers for their food FREEDOM. For example, Julie from “PB Fingers”…she eats normal, she eats treats, she doesn’t fret or worry, she has a happy life with a husband and hobbies and doesn’t obsess over following “x” meal plan or balance or not pigging out just cause it happens. Cool.

    Same with Kath on KathEats…she eats real food that is comforting and nourishing and she’s so happy with her hubby, home and bakery. Happy and healthy and no obsessions. I want that…I need that…and i’m not even halfway there…

  29. Meg, I LOVE this post! So many women can relate to this. You’ve come so far and I admire you for that, love.

    I like to view my body as a vessel rather than a physical being. When I take the physical part out and honor everything my body actually DOES for me, I am instantly happier and grateful. 🙂

  30. I do take your point about this, but I have to say that it is a *lot* easier to be happy with oneself when you have been blessed with a body such as yours. I don’t mean to be overly cynical, but when you’re naturally very slim, it’s quite liberating to preach self-love, I am sure, but that can’t be conditional.

    I have actually mentioned on my blog before that I’d die to look like you, and several other bloggers with lean, slim frames, but I have a body that gains weight very, very easily and if I were to simply sit back and accept it then I would quite possibly be clinically overweight due to my issues with binge eating disorder. I don’t see it as quite fair that I should have to settle for being bigger, when others have been allowed to be smaller.

    I suppose my point is that telling everyone to love their bodies comes from a more powerful place if you’re able to do that at any size, not just when you are on the very slender end of the scale.

    xxx

    • i fully second this statement, only given that meg hasn’t experienced the upper end of the spectrum. i fully believe that girls on the upper end can, indeed, love their bodies, but i don’t think that meg can be the advocate of this because she will just make bigger girls feel bad about themselves.

      (i say this with mounds of respect because i adore meg and think she’s fabulous. she’s doing a good thing and the more ‘love your body’ advocates the merrier, but i just know that others will read her writing and not take it seriously because of her thinness. and that’s a shame because i know that she’s genuine).

      i couldn’t have created my blog until i lost the bulimic weight. i feel like i’d otherwise have been considered as a fat hypocrite, telling people to lose their eating disorders. i didn’t love myself at a higher weight, but i do very much think it’s possible for others to find that love.

      my blog wasn’t even a consideration until how i liked my new exbulimic slim looks. when i looked slim, i felt confident to tell people to stop being bulimic. i’m a scientist. i took on the ‘proof is in the pudding’ mentality.

      and jessica, you are tiny! and meg is fabulous. end of story. 🙂 x

  31. Tell me more about this bench idea and squatting!:) I think I am refraining from doing weight i can handle because I have a fear of squats! eek! I’d love to hear the advice meg!!! Thanks!!

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