A Different Way of Saying Forbidden

Hello friends and happy Wednesday  

Way back in October, I spoke about how I find it extremely important and beneficial for myself to take some time to reflect on my current situation and make sure ED isn’t making any rules within my life.

I am no longer obeying ED, but I must admit ED appears now and then. Obviously, ED’s “voice” is much more distant than it was in the past and I am much stronger than I was in the past as well; therefore, obeying or listening to ED’s “voice” is no longer an issue like it was a couple of years ago. Now that I am far along in my recovery, it is much easier to disobey and not listen.

I know right from wrong and know that I do not want ED in my life.

But, like I said I find it helpful to reflect on my current actions and behaviours to make sure ED is not present in any decisions I make.

I recently took some time and reflected and I noticed I no longer have “forbidden” or “fear” foods which is wonderful, but I still do not allow myself to have everything and anything. This realization made me quite frustrated.

Yes, I love to eat healthy – I seriously never crave chips, pop, chocolate bars, jelly beans, gummy bears, and so on, but I did recognize there are some foods that I do shy away from…

In my head, I haven’t labeled these foods that I shy away from as “forbidden” or “fear” foods, but why was I shying away from them?

After a lot of thought and analyzing the reasons behind my actions of shying away from certain foods I realized that ED developed a new way of making me “fear” a food.

No longer am I being told “you can’t have that” like I was in the past, but now I am being told “you aren’t currently having that, so why have it now?”

See the difference? ED is so sneaky…

I have many dark memories of crying to my parents and trying to explain to them that I just “can’t” have a certain food. This was a “fear food” – something I “couldn’t” have. ED made countless fear foods for me that I was forbidden to enjoy.

But now, try to see the difference between the two phrases…
ED is no longer saying I can’t have these certain types of foods, but instead ED is saying “why start now?”

I immediately realized this isn’t normal.

The phrase ED is repeating in my mind should not be there; therefore, I am making a goal to disobey and introduce these foods I have noticed myself shying away from into my diet.

One of these foods is cocoa powder.

I am not sure why this is one of the foods I have shied away from, but there is no reason for me to.

Cocoa powder contains flavanols, an antioxidant, which may help prevent heart disease, stroke, and cancer according to the American Dietetic Association. The antioxidant found in cocoa powder is able to lower blood pressure and reduce cholesterol. The health benefits of unsweetened cocoa powder are wonderful and even if used moderately, benefits can still be observed.

So why was I shying away from cocoa powder?

Who knows. ED really doesn’t make any sense. That’s how I knew it was ED making me shy away from cocoa powder. If my actions and behaviours don’t make sense it usually always leads to ED as being the root cause.

So, this morning I crushed ED’s stupid rule that made no sense whatsoever and I made a fabulous bowl of oatmeal that I am sure you all will enjoy!

Creamy Cocoa and Cherry Oats (High Protein)

1 serving oats (I used my favourite – steel cut oats)

1/2 cup almond milk

1/2 cup water

1/4 cup egg whites

1 TBSP unsweetened cocoa powder

1 handful cherries, pitted

Cook oats with milk and water until done. Meanwhile, whip egg whites into foam. When oats are done cooking, fold in egg whites and cocoa powder. Top with cherries and enjoy

This was amazing and I am so happy I finally tried cocoa powder I am sure I will become very adventurous with it now. More new recipes to come? I think so

Have you had an ED? What was a fear food of yours?
How do you use cocoa powder?
Have you ever shied away from cocoa powder?

Meg
xoxoxoxo